New Podcast: How our attachments keep us in our comfort zone

You want change but you are too afraid to go make the changes yourself. In this podcast, I explain why we desire change and resist change, how our current attachments prevent us from taking an active role in changing our lives, and how to free yourself to live outside your comfort zone.

Listen to the podcast below and keep scrolling down for key messages from this podcast:





changeHere are few key messages:




Dangers of Strong Attachments


I believe whatever we are strongly attached to can cause us to behave extremely disrespectfully to people that don’t share in our same attachments or similarities.

Our attachments impact the way we thinking because at a deep level we use our attachments to comfort us and to give us our human identities, so our subconscious mind is always protecting our attachments, which impacts our behaviors. This desire to protect increases depending on how attached emotionally, and there is a strong emotional attachment to things that make up our identities, like race, family, religion, sexuality, and economical status.

We are NOTHING more than what we are attached to. I believe the best way to cure us of this is to have freedom in the mind by not getting too attached to anything. This will allow you to have greater control over your emotions and not allow it to impact the way you think. Be free from attachments and you will no longer be a victim to your emotions. You will naturally have more respect for people’s human experiences because you will be more open and accepting of other people’s uniqueness.

If we collectively do this, I bet my life that the entire world will change.

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30 Thought Provoking Life Questions You Should Ask Yourself in Solitude?


Sometimes when spending time alone I like to think about thought-provoking questions to inspire a deeper level of thinking. It helps expand the mind and push your consciousness into a new way of thinking.

Below are my favorite questions to help inspire deeper level thinking:

  1. What great thing would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail?
  2. What would you do if you were ten times bolder in your relationships, work, family, and spiritual life?
  3. What would you be doing if you had all the money in the world?
  4. If you could teach something, what would you want to teach?
  5. If you left this life tomorrow, what message would you leave behind for the next seven generations?
  6. How short would your life have to be before you would start living differently today?
  7. When was the last time you went someplace you had never been before?
  8. What is your biggest dream?
  9. Can you describe your life with a six-word sentence? Here is mine: My life is filled with freedom.
  10. When was the last time you tried something new?
  11. What makes you come alive?
  12. How much control do you have over your life?
  13. How would your life be different if you knew you weren’t being judged or criticized?
  14. Why do you love what you love?
  15. When you’re much older, what type of stories do you want to tell?
  16. Beyond color, nationality, job titles accomplishments, sexual preferences, or labels given by others… who are you?
  17. Are you settling?
  18. What does your joy look like today?
  19. Finish this sentence: When I think of love, I think of . . .
  20. What did you want to be when you grew up?
  21. What could you say was your defining moment?
  22. When do you feel most alive?
  23. How do you define “soul”?
  24. When did you become so fearful as an adult?
  25. If you could go back and do something again, would you make the same choices?
  26. If you were God, with the absolute power of creation, how would the world look?
  27. What are some things worth fighting for?
  28. What is the most important thing to teach a child?
  29. Where is heaven to you?
  30. What do you want your future self to say about your present self?



The last post you will ever need to read on developing self-confidence

I received an email from a listener of the Free Spirits united podcast admiring the way I speak with confidence. [She also likes the sound of my voice (blushing), but that’s not the point of this post]. She asked me to list out steps she should take to develop self-confidence. Well, here it is. This is the last thing you will ever need to read on having self-confidence (What a confident statement to make!!!!).

In a nutshell, confidence is knowing and being comfortable in your capabilities. Furthermore, the only way for you to know your capabilities or be comfortable is by actually doing what you are trying to be confident in. If you haven’t done something, you will be uncomfortable doing it.

Everyone has self-confidence in something,  you just don’t realize it. For example, I bet you are confident in your abilities to walk.  You don’t know it because your mind naturally has the confidence in walking. But how did it develop this confidence? Because you walk a lot, so the mind knows it can do it. Get it? You weren’t born walking, but by crawling and then eventually walking, you naturally developed that confidence. This simplistic example can be applied to just about anything requiring self-confidence.

In college I danced, a lot. I enjoyed it, so I did it as much as I possibly could. I was part of a dance group that performed at shows. I was a confident dancer on stage because I practiced so much. I rehearsed to the point where my mind no longer questioned my dancing abilities. After practicing a dance routine so much, by the time I performed it during the show, I didn’t have to think hard about the dance steps, the dance steps were ingrained in my mind because I reached a heightened level of comfort.

And to prove this concept holds true to people at any stage in life, take my daughter as an example. My daughter plays soccer. The only way she is going to know in her abilities as a soccer player is for her to actually play soccer a lot. I tell her all of the time, “practice over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.” You get the point by now, right? Now at the age 8, the girl attacks the ball as a defensive player. If a ball goes into her area, she aggressively goes to get it out. She wasn’t like that when she first played, but now she is.

But things can negatively impact our self-confidence. One major impact is other people’s opinions and perspectives of you. We tend to fear embarrassing moments or making mistakes because we care too much how other people perceive us – because it will make us feel uncomfortable. If you allow other people’s perception of you to shape and guide your life, then you are not living an authentic life that is true to your core. To live an authentic life, you have to know yourself and be comfortable with your design and uniqueness. When you are comfortable with being who you are, other people’s perceptions and opinions won’t matter as much as your own opinions.

The other major, negative impact to our self-confidence is having high expectations that eventually leaves you disappointed. It’s fascinating how a bad experience can impact us deeply. This is why it’s so important to have a heightened sense of awareness to our attachments, especially our attachment to expectations. Having expectations means knowing what is going to happen in the future. That’s dangerous to our awareness because you DON’T know what is going to happen in the future, so there is NO point in having a strong attachment to anything that is not in the present moment. Our attachments shape our realities, so no point in shaping your current reality to something that may or may not happen, that would, without a doubt, lead to disappointment.

Well there you have it, my friends. I hope you are now consciously aware of what self-confidence is and how to develop it.

Below is a summary of the post:

1. Self-confidence is knowing without a doubt in your capabilities and being comfortable with it.
2. The only way to know or get comfort is by actually doing it until the mind adjusts to it.
3. Life is about progression, so you won’t be good at something from the beginning. It requires you to consistently do something until you know that you capable of doing it.
4. Don’t allow expectations to impact your self-confidence. Expectations are not based on current realities.
5. Don’t allow other people’s opinions and perspectives to impact your self-confidence. The best way to overcome the opinions of others is by knowing yourself.

That was fun to write. Send me an email at

Also, please subscribe to my podcast on iTunes and leave a comment. I would greatly appreciate it.

How to love yourself


Self-love changes everything. I explain in detail in my podcast. If you enjoy the Free Spirits United podcast, please subscribe on iTunes ( click link here) and be sure to leave a comment. I would greatly appreciate it.

Falling in love with yourself is easier than you think. Below are 5 ways to increase your self-love and appreciation.

  1. Spend time alone to find your peace of mind. Spend time alone, relaxing your mind and getting comfortable in your own skin. I suggest listening to relaxing music or doing something that eases the mind. Don’t try to stimulate it. This is about getting comfortable and finding peace solo.
  2. Find a mirror to appreciate your outward design. Do what I tell my daughter a lot of times. I tell her – “Go find a mirror, and tell the person you see in that she is beautiful”. Keep doing that so you don’t need external validation.
  3. Record yourself talking about something you are passionate about. Spend time listening to your voice getting excited discussing your passions. Hear yourself come alive. This will push you to staying engaged in the things you love to do.
  4. Avoid negative people. As you discover the love for yourself, don’t get set back by listening to the negativity of others.
  5. Stay fit. Being fit does great things to our self-esteem.

Read more

Podcast: Self-love Changes EVERYTHING

A new podcast has just been released.

I discuss the importance of loving & accepting yourself. It can truly CHANGE your life for the better. I explain in the podcast.

Listen here:



This time I include some music I listen to while I relax my mind.

Background music: Embraced, by: Paul Cardall

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