Focusing on the now

Spiritually I don’t need to know what happens after I die, I don’t need to connect with past loved ones, I don’t need to know my past human experiences, and I don’t need to wonder about the validity of different religions.

I believe my purpose is living my current human experience. So I want to put all of my energy on that. I want to enjoy the pleasures in this world, big and small, from taking a deep breath and watching the moon late at night to traveling to different countries and experiencing another culture.

I want to feel and learn from the pain I have in this experience, to learn something new about myself. People talk about living in the NOW. I truly want to embrace every part of it and not get distracted from that.

– Santel


Do not think of sexuality in terms of right and wrong



Early this year I had an enlightening experience and learned many things about life and the human experience. One thing about sexuality is that sexuality is very much part of the human experience for many, including me, and should be embraced. I love the human body; it’s the vessel in which we get our human experience. The human body is one of God’s greatest designs, a beautiful machine. The outer design is so intricate and looks marvelous, and the feel of the body is capable of touching the soul, especially from a kiss. We were designed to have a strong attachment to the human body and that is part of our sexuality.

I recently posted a picture that said, “Do not think of sexuality in terms of right or wrong” and some users had issues with that message, and they inspired me to write this post.

The overall core message of Free Spirits United is to have freedom in every aspect of your life. To have true inner freedom, you need to have self-acceptance, which means knowing who you are and being content with it. Acceptance of your sexuality is not excluded. The best way to achieve self-acceptance is by not judging yourself. I, however, recognize how difficult that is to do because some of us were created to evaluate and assess things to help guide us through our human experience, and we tend assess ourselves as well.

If you are going to judge, then judge yourself in terms of having what you need to enhance the quality of your human experience, like improving or building relationships, learning a trade or skill, or improving your inner self to be content with your life. However, self-judging in the way you were designed should be eliminated, and furthermore, you shouldn’t judge your sexual design in terms of it being right or wrong because that can make you feel like there’s something wrong with how you were created. Society will try to do that for you, but your inner voice must be the strongest voice. The sexual feelings you have are natural. As I love to say, “it is what it is.” Accept who you are and let those feelings flow.

Conversely, in terms of acting out on your sexual feelings is a totally different discussion. I am married to my wife. I am attracted to her body, as I love the curves on her body and other features she has. I also appreciate features on different body types that can make me sexually aroused. That is what it is and I do not feel ashamed of it. However, I chose to not act out my sexual arousal for other people because the consequences are more involved than my sexual satisfaction. It involves my connection with my wife and the risk to it, and it involves having a connection, intimate or not, with the other person. If I had a strong desire to act on my sexual feelings with another person, then I need to assess my connection and commitment to my wife and whether I should stay in the relationship. But the sexual feelings we get are very natural and should not warrant judgment because we simply need to accept how we were designed.

The same applies to other emotions like anger. Anger is an important emotion and should not be suppressed because it signals our discontent for something. Anger is natural and is part of the human experience and should be allowed to flow without judgment. However, how you act upon your anger, like hurting someone or retailing, is what should be judged from right from wrong based on our values and principles.

Send me a email at or leave a comment and share your thoughts. Join the discussion on my facebook page:

How to fall in love with yourself

Accept how you were designed. Acceptance leads to comfort, and that is essentially what love is about, finding comfort and peace. If we are able to find comfort with how we were designed, however we were designed, then you will fall in love with yourself. And I’m not saying that’s a simple task to do. It’s quite the contrary. We live in a world where we allow people to shape our identities, false identifies at that. We allow people to tell us how to behave because of our race, who to love because our gender, what to do with our lives because of our family history. These are taking us away from our true selves. If you can free yourself, truly free yourself from the voices on the outside and find a way to truly connect to who you are and accept how you were designed, you will, without a doubt, fall in love with yourself.

– Troy Santel