Worrying is connecting to the idea that something bad will happen. It’s a lot like having expectations. You connect to an idea of what is going to happen and you allow that thought to impact your current state of mind and behavior. It causes sadness, depression, and anxiety all because of expectations.
However, it is possible to think something bad is going to happen and not connect to that thought. Thinking something does not necessarily mean you are connect to it, but you know you are connected to a thought based on your emotions. Our lives are dictated by our connections. Controlling your connections controls your emotions, and ultimately controls your behavior. Our mind controls our connections and our mind seeks out things that make us feel comfortable. We connect to our worrying thoughts to prevent us from doing something that may make us feel uncomfortable. For example, I use to have terrible fear of presenting to a large group of people. I would worry that I would make a mistake and look foolish. My mind, by design, was only trying to protect me as I continue on with my human experience and keep me in my comfort zone. Through my experiences I learned to not put so much trust in my mind because while my mind is guiding and protecting me, keeping me in my comfort zone hinders the valuable experiences I can have. Being comfortable will prevent us from getting other life changing experiences.
It’s not wrong and it’s not right.
To move past worrying, you can do two things:
- Not trust your mind any longer. Know that your mind loves you unconditionally but it is guided with the purpose of trying to find you comfort. Seeking comfort delays the change needed in our lives to get an enriching human experience. Make a conscious decision to not listen to what your mind is telling you. Be consciously aware you’re your mind is lying to you to protect you. This may help you keep the right perspective as you deal with the things you worry about.
- Reduce the connection you have to negative thoughts. Where we place our energy dictates the intensity to our connections. You can either place your energy connecting to the idea that something bad will happen or you can connect to something else. For example, before giving a presentation I don’t allow my emotions to connect to the idea that I will make a huge mistake and, conversely I don’t connect to the idea that I will do a great job. My connections are not based on any sort of fantasy or expectations, but I connect to the message of my presentation. I focus on the ideas that I am trying to convey. I am connecting to the actual content of the presentation and how best to deliver it. So this makes me want to reread the presentation and think of funny jokes before going on stage, instead of wasting energy worrying so much that I forget to appropriately prepare.
Whatever you focus your energy on is what you will be connected to.
If you are a big time worrier, that’s okay. It is what it is. Just know that your human experience is based on the thoughts you connect to. While it may go unnoticeable, a big change could be in store for you once you decide to detach yourself from worrying thoughts.