I keep every aspect of my life simple including my spirituality. Someone asked me today what religion did I follow. I said I don’t know what fucking religion I follow. Yes I do. I told him I didn’t know maybe because I felt like I wasn’t ready to discuss it.
I don’t focus so much on the afterlife. Living a good life on earth just to have a wonderful afterlife isn’t as appealing to me as maybe it should be. I use to connect to the idea that I will go to heaven if I were a good, little Christian boy. I prayed. I felt guilt when I sinned. I was ashamed to even masturbate because I thought God would be angry that I did such a thing. And no, that still didn’t prevent me from masturbating. It just prevented me from feeling happy moments after I cleaned myself up.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am still highly spiritual. I do believe with my entire being that there is a powerful force that loves me unconditionally. And if I believe that force loves me unconditionally, I don’t see a reason for it not to love anyone else any less. There have been moments in life that I feel without a shadow of a doubt that God revealed himself to me, from having powerful dreams that guided me to having my prayers instantly answered. I know there is a force out there that is pure love and energy.
For the most part, people’s religions have been determined for them based on the family they were born into. A young human mind, so empty and ready to soak up anything and everything, latches on to what’s been told to them. All with the purpose of forming their perspective, their reality, to dictate the type of experiences they will receive. But then, there are some people, free spirits in every sense of the words, people like me, who challenge fucking everything. They breakaway from certain traditions and beliefs that don’t align with the experiences they’ve had. They no longer try to put their experiences into their religious beliefs, but rather create their own beliefs based on their own experiences. They decide to be open, accepting, non judgmental to formulate their core beliefs. Their minds as result becomes free. Freedom – it’s a powerful thing. And as a result, like other free spirits, I can finally say that freedom is my religion.